10. Extricate

In my head, the dominant feeling, after self-interest of course, is fear. Maybe the two are interlinked? Let’s have a look. What am I afraid of? Well, not being able to sufficiently nourish my self-interest if I’m being honest, not being granted a grand enough portion of the human experience as befits my selfhood, the tall tale I’ve elaborated over 35 years in my head that culminates in the ever-expanding inadequacy of this moment, then the next, then the next. That settles it then. And what of Mark Smith and ‘Telephone Thing’? I think he manages to tickle this wretched contradiction. I see him clearly, the moment I hear that bass throbbing, scuttling around his terrace, blinds drawn, attempting to draw maple syrup from the banister on his stairwell. Succeeding somehow. I can hear them hearing me hearing them hearing me hear them…