Steven Wells

Swells Dies. Caps Lock Buttons Sigh In Relief

Los Campesinos! First Against Wall In TWAT! (The War Against Twee)

The world stands, yet again, on the brink of the nuclear war, while simultaneously frying, blowing, flooding and burning to a premature end. How do twee band respond? By jumping up and down, shouting 'Yay!' and drinking Cherryade. Swells is unimpressed.

Dumbfuckingstan vs. British Art School Rock – It’s No Contest Says Swells

Lydongate! Johnny’s Behaviour Rotten? Swells On The ‘Racist’ Ruckus

Forget Morriseygate! Here's Lydongate!

Swells has produced a cut out and keep guide to help you work your way round the tricky fact that John Lydon seems to be a bit of a tit.

Swells on Topshop playlisting The Rotted

Topshop, popular outfitter to the nation's youth, have recently added malignant grindcore types The Rotted to their instore playlist. Swells explains why this means he should have been an A&R man, rather than working in Morrisons, back in '77

Swells in NYC

Black Sky Thinkin: Tinging Outside The Box

The Quietus' titanium attack dog Swells has tiny cocked indie boys who hate 'anyone with a cunt who sings' in his sights. Is he talking about The Police?

Black Sky Thinking: What We (Don’t) Need is an Alternative Oldster

Black Sky Thinking: Glastonbury – Aryan folk festival

Black Sky Thinking: Death to Corduroy

Dull American music mags are dying in droves, and Steven Wells cares not one jot. Hark as he dances around the bonfire in joy...