Metal

Horns Up Ya Shitters! June’s Best Heavy Metal Reviewed

Toby Cook takes you on a riff-splattered tour through the month's best metal - from Shining and Autopsy to Power Trip and Death Trip - all the while subliminally commanding you to stop what you're doing and listen to more Bongripper

Horns Up Ya Shitters! A Columnus Metallicus For May

Toby Cook dissects this month's metal releases and ponders which go best with a weed-free lifestyle

Horns Up Ya Shitters! Best New Metal LPs Reviewed By Toby Cook

Toby Cook is back to wail at a McDonald's ad and review new LPs from Darkthrone, Humanfly, Baptists, Pombagira, From The Bogs Of Aughiska, Phil Anselmo & Warbeast, Blood Tsunami, Rotting Christ, Intronaut and Holly Hunt

Horns Up Ya Shitters! February’s Best Metal Reviewed

He's never early, he's always late, we're just waiting for Toby Cook's Columnus Metallicus...

Horns Up Ya Shitters! A Look Back At 2012 In Metal

It's a Columnus Metallicus special as Toby Cook not only reviews the best recent Metal albums, but picks his highlights from 350-odd days under the horns

Horns Up Ya Shitters! October’s Best Metal Reviewed

After narrowly escaping murder at the hands of boozing bastards in his native Norfolk, Toby Cook is back with reviews of De Magia Veterum, Neurosis, Krisiun, Von, Weapon, Ichabod, Converge, Anaal Nathrakh and Pig Destroyer

Horns Up Ya Shitters! Last Month’s Best Metal Reviewed

Tony Cook has been stuck in some kind of vortex of loo roll and beans, so the Columnus is a little late this month. No matter, for metal endures for eternity, and these are some of the best albums in the genre from last month

Horns Up Ya Shitters! August’s Best Metal Reviewed

What is as good as Behemoth, asks Toby Cook. Not much, but anything close is reviewed in Columnus Metallicus this month

Horns Up Ya Shitters! July’s Best Metal Reviewed

Toby Cook has run out of things to say about drugs! Luckily it's a bumper month of releases from Om, Testament, Bestial Holocaust and more...

Horns Up Ya Shitters! June’s Best Metal Reviewed

Unsheath your broadswords and prepare to pillage the realm of riffs as Toby Cook reviews this month's metal releases

Horns Up Ya Shitters! The Best Metal Of May Reviewed

Toby Cook is back from the drug sewer to inform us about the best metal albums of May. All together now... AIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Horns Up Ya Shitters! The Best Metal Of April Reviewed

Horns Up Ya Shitters! The Best Metal Of March Reviewed

Toby Cook once more utters his Columnus Metallicus AIIIEEEEEE as he reviews new albums from Meshuggah, Black Breath, Napalm Death, Cannibal Corpse, Angel Witch, Christian Mistress, Soulfly, MAKE, Drudkh and Mike Armine

A Room Full Of Horns And Nowhere To Sit Down: February Columnus Metallicus

Captain! He rises! Toby Cook puts down the plastic skull bong and picks up his notebook. Horns up shitbirds!

Quirks Of Humanity & Failing At Metal: A Columnus Metallicus For Summer

Our man Toby Cook pays tribute to Anal Cunt's Seth Putnam, before proceeding to tell you exactly what metal releases should be blasting your ears this summer

Taking Communion With The Metal Monk: A Columnus Metallicus For May

Painting roofs and researching Monks who are devoted to thrash: it's been a busy month for our Toby Cook, but he also found time to give his verdict on the most vital metal releases currently doing the rounds

Rock Music Is Bad For Plants: A Columnus Metallicus For March

Toby Cook has discovered that magic mushrooms and Fawlty Towers don't mix, with disastrous results; fortunately, he's also been discovering the best metal releases out there right now, and is here to tell you exactly what you need to know...

Wheezing & Drinking Tea: A Columnus Metallicus For The New Year

No resolutions for our man Toby Cook; instead, he's looking back at the choicest metal that was overlooked at the end of 2010 and reviewing records by Electric Wizard, Pantera and more. Photo by Maria Jefferis of www.shot2bits.net

A Columnus Metallicus For The End Of Summer

Toby Cook now knows that you should never meet your heroes. He also knows the finest metal releases that you should currently be listening to...

Where The Slime Lives Volume Two: Extrreeeeme Depression!

It's the second metal column from our Jenn Selby, who interviews Pombagira and pays tribute to the late Daniel Krauss of Admiral Angry. Live photos by Al Overdrive

Metal Is In Bloom: Summer Columnus Metallicus

Someone may have pissed on his leg, but nothing can stop Toby Cook writing about metal. Here, he gives his opinions on releases from the Deftones and UFOMammut amongst others

Where The Slime Lives Episode 1: From The Sublime To The Ridiculous

Jenn Selby starts her new extreme metal column with Gigantic Brain, Coffinworm, Oranssi Pazuzu and Skat Injecktor - the only band Anal Cunt are afraid of. You have been warned.

Columnus Metallicus – Spend Spring Loaded With Toby’s Metal Reviews

This month, Toby gets angry with a volcano, blasts back some LSD-screwed weed when he should have been writing about tanks, and brings you the best and worst in metal and beyond

Up Axe! Polish Helmet! March’s Metal Reviews Column Is A Saxon Special

Toby Cook finds the latest set of a Saxon Reissues unsatisfying in a column that also features Neurosis, The Breathing Process, The Smoking Hearts, Nihill, XodiacK, Achilles and High On Fire

A Metal Albums Column: Heavier Than An Osmium Elephant

Toby Cook casts a frosted and baleful eye over new releases from Lostprophets, Throats, Coalesce, Orphaned Land (pic below) and more

Columnus Metallicus – November Is The Cruelest Month

Toby Cook really hates November - but luckily for us, he still loves his metal. He overcomes his calendar blues to tell us what he's been bursting his eardrums with this month.

Columnus Metallicus – Prising The Metal Out Of Your Cold, Dead Hands

Cut him - he bleeds metal. Well actually he doesn't, he goes 'Ow' and starts crying, but Toby Cook is still more metal than you. Unless you're Joey De Maio

Columnus Metallicus – Metal Up Your Ass In September

Summer’s nearly over, not that Toby Cook would have noticed – metalheads don’t care for sunlight, don’t you know. So, here’s what’s been scaring his neighbours this month.

Of Art And Metal: The Best Ambient, Doom, Drone & Sundry Esoterica Of 2008

Quietus man John Doran may have just cut his hair and stopped drinking but nothing can remove the oily black stains from his soul. Luckily this year has been one annus miraculous for a miserable anus.