Call me nutty but in early January I went to see The Jesus Lizard three nights in a row. This means 2025 has peaked bloody early and that ainโt gonna be changed by Black Sabbath directed by the guitarist from Audioslave.ย
Good luck, other bands! You lesser fools. You might as well put your equipment into storage, return to the drawing board and have a long hard think about how you might even consider topping The Jesus Lizard.
Iโve seen things you people wouldnโt believe. Most memorably, David Yow at Glasgowโs Queen Margaret Union, dressed in a large Billie Eilish t-shirt with a little bit of his testicle sack poking out the side of a zebra print G-string. As I said, call me nutty.
Traditionally, I was never one for spending precious time and money on seeing the same band at multiple gigs. Most bandsโ performances donโt vary from one night to the next and if you try to pull such successive attendance shenanigans with The Pretenders, then Chrissie will throw a hissy.
The Jesus Lizard are not most bands. Nor are they, last time I checked, The Pretenders. Whatโs Yow going to wear tonight and will he take it all off (or not)? Is he going to hurl himself into or on top of the audience right at the beginning of the set or wait until heโs sunk several beers instead? Will he injure himself permanently this time? Will he stagedive into the densest section of the crowd and surf all the way back to the sound desk, microphone in hand, barely missing a lyric? (Manchester.) Or will he flop onto a small guy with glasses whoโs utterly unprepared to catch him? (Leeds. โThat was kinda funny.โ) Which profanities will he use to insult his own fans on this particular evening? Will any song from 1998โs BLUE make it into their changing setlists? (No.) Anything could happen! Well, not anything. They wonโt play โSlave Shipโ, sadly, but thatโs beside the point. The important thing is that it feels like anything could happen which is how all the most exciting live bands operate. Hands up if you remember The Fall.ย
Committing to this string of dates wasnโt a difficult decision to make. For a start, nothing else happens in January. (Not even Death In Paradise is scheduled until February these days.) Plus, The Jesus Lizard were already the finest live band I ever saw. Put that on record, should anybody care. All Tomorrowโs Parties in 2009. Yow removes his top as the first song starts. A hand slowly raises from the middle of the crowd. It beckons him. Yow clocks it. He nods. Then he hurls himself in the direction of the gesturer. Iโm pleased to report that Yow, who is now at the age of 64, still has less regard for his own personal safety and dignity than he does for buttoning up his trousers.ย
Yow is the focus point. Credit is due to the actual musicians. Duane Denisonโs no-nonsense and deceptively intelligent riffwork. (Heโs classically trained, donโt you know.) The mostly stationary bassist David Wm. Sims, authoritatively laying down the near-funk groove. Mac McNeilly, who doesnโt seem to have an ounce of fat on him, which is doubtless because drumming that forcefully and busily is very hard work indeed. ย
Good luck, other bands at your poxy little drawing boards! Try any of the hijinks mentioned above and youโd probably look desperately ridiculous.ย
In the sticky floored venues and surviving record shops of the northern music scene, The Illness are known as โYork La Tengoโ. I havenโt actually heard them described as that, admittedly, butโฆ Why not? Perhaps itโs because thereโs a Liverpool contingent to the revolving collective and more than three individuals are involved. Still, itโs a comparison that helps give an inkling of The Illnessโs indie-rockinโ range, their skill at balancing melody with scrappiness or repetition and their ability to pack an album with different styles, shifts and singers while still achieving a solid sense of seamlessness. Theyโve got some hip connections, too. A 2020 EP had transatlantic contributions from Bob and Steve who play in Pavement. This oneโs got David Pajo on it, providing lead vocals to โSpeedway Starโ and playing guitar on another piece. Thatโs the headline for all the cool-blog-web-zines out there but the quality remains high throughout as the record rattles across scratchy lo-fi, baritone synth pop, freak folk with dilated pupils, ambient intermissions, polyphonic orchestration, casual shamble rock, more than a few moments that recall the anything-goes eclecticism of Super Furry Animals and a cathartically uplifting penultimate moment of dark-ish alt-rock. Commendable team effort.ย
Denude are three guys from the Chicago and Milwaukee underground scenes and this is their debut LP. With its math-rocking musical shapes, which all critics will be contractually obliged to describe as โangularโ, and the nearly spoken singing style, itโll appeal instantly to fans of Slint, Lungfish, Enablers, The Unit Ama and other brilliantly creative organic rock bands of that nature. โAnimal Tracksโ feels a bit like a Shellac song that Bob Weston would sing, whereas you can imagine the lead on โ12th Battle On The Isonzoโ being taken by Steve Albini. May he rest in withering scorn. You can tell itโs been recorded quickly by musicians who have practised themselves into a sweaty and aching mess. The guitar parts slot together like a complex jigsaw and the drums seem to be tumbling down in pursuit of these, like Keith Moon would do, rather than leading the way.
Exposeโs music has been described as like โhardcore falling down a mountainโ. Maybe thatโs how they used to sound but itโs not so much the case on this second LP. โSpeed Dialโ might have a punk rock running time of just over a minute. Style-wise, itโs more comparable to Oneida in a rush to get back to the van. Next track, โThe Constantโ, is positively psychedelic with its pretty lead lick and whirlpool pedal effects. Elsewhere, some of the material is synth squelch meets free jazz. Other parts offer trippy takes on Spiderland-ish post rock. โDescriptionโ has an OSEES garage rattle to it. โSelf Terrorโ is the kind of racket Pavement would make, in the very early days, when they were still trying to be Sonic Youth. Itโs not hardcore, summit descending or otherwise. It is, however, packed with loads of noisy ideas.
Bikini Beach could be the title of a softcore VHS from the 1980s. In this case, itโs a trio from Lake Constance, bordering Germany, Austria and Switzerland. To say they enjoy fuzzy riffs is an understatement. It wouldnโt be surprising if theyโd Googled Fu Manchuโs equipment rundown on one of those websites that supply such specific details and then immediately ordered everything listed. That should give an impression of the density of their distortion. In terms of tempo and chutzpah, theyโre livelier than the โChu, approaching hyperactive punkiness in places. There are also occasional moments that make use of thinner surf licks. Theyโre never far away from another phat passage, however. The album title refers to the fact that Bikini Beach are โgloomier than everโ and their lyrics deal with negativities both personal and global. You wouldnโt necessarily notice, though, given the sound itself is so fun, warm and energetic.
Toru are the instrumental power trio who could soundtrack the apocalypse. Maybe they are doing that, the way things are going. They crunch away vigorously, jerking the listener one way then the other. Thereโs a hard-prog undercurrent and a propensity for confrontational noise which suggests the influence of Japanese racket-makers like Ruins. You know how Merzbow liked the feedback parts of Jimi Hendrix songs but didnโt think they lasted long enough so he decided to make his own music that was only like those sections? Well, you can imagine Toru having a similar attitude towards the hidden tracks on Nirvana albums. Thatโs where the real gold was buried. The third song, โVolutesโ, brings the maelstrom down a smidgen. Itโs like a jazzier Godspeed You! Black Emperor or something. Then itโs back to the business of thrashing around as if theyโre all falling down some stairs together. Youโll notice the title of every song begins with a โVโ. Perhaps theyโre sticking two fingers up at anyone who likes cosy โniceโ music. ย
Splitterzelleโs members are Pedro Pestana from Portugalโs 10000 Russos and Sidney Jaffe from Germanyโs Arcane Allies. Their record kicks off with cosmic krautrock performed at breakneck pace and heavy on the synths. โDiscipleโ is darker, throbbier and more industrial. It could be used to score a seedy sex club scene in a low-budget cyberpunk movie whose characters have bionic arms and names like Darreal Tektonik. โPeripheryโ fuses space rock with drone to immersive effect. The vocals on โResilienceโ are sliced to pieces and manipulated into abstract, disembodied wailing. โShieldโ could be Cut Hands featuring Robert Fripp. Much of the album is so electronic-beat-oriented it would work as effectively on the dancefloor as at a Hawkwind-style โhappeningโ in a field. Best not rave or workout to that high BPM-ed first song, mind, or youโll do yourself an injury.ย
โWe love Indiana Jones, so we wrote a track about Indy himself, fighting the bad guys and always coming out on top,โ say this Rome-based trio. โIt fills us with hope for the world we live in, which could really use some.โ Fair enough. Take inspiration where you can find it. Thatโll be the opening song, then: โTemple Of Doomโ. Its music sounds a bit like Mudhoney if theyโd been as smitten with Sabbath as many of their Seattle contemporaries, rather than basically copying The Stooges most of the time. The following number is about the omnipresence of smartphones: โOur partners in fun and sadnessโ. Then thereโs one about an apparently made-up foodstuff (โSalty Biscuitsโ). Later, they return to their DVD collection and sing about the 1985 Schwarzenegger vehicle Commando. The singer and guitarist, who goes by โPoochieโ, has a distinctive voice. Itโs quite unhinged and heโs proud of it. As for their Tiggerish style, โItโs not stoner, itโs not garage, itโs not punk, itโs not psych,โ FVZZ POPVLI insist. It is all those things, to be honest, and a little more. Which must be what the album title is hinting at.
JR Mooresโ latest book, Off The Ground: Paul McCartney In The 1990s, is available now and yes he did manage to squeeze in the odd noise-rock reference somehow